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lyrics

Enduring The Waves

Reading about Buddhism and listening to Xasthur
on the subway in New York City
back when you were my home
not that long ago.

This
life
upends me
again and again.
(This churning life
of avalanches,
it spins.)

Each
night now
my mind in the dark
brings it all roaring back.
(Each day plummets
into night, now
my mind in the dark.)

That you could not
bear me
and the wind that came
in through the door.
(Can I bear the uncertainty
that arrives on the wind
that came in through the door?)

That I can not
hold you,
our devotions mismatched.
(Holding you in my mind,
I don't really see.
Waking up surprised
with no one around
and wondering "who?")

We could have bridged the gap
but it yawned and swallowed
this world of ours
that's now yours and mine.

This life
bulldozed
by ridiculous sensitivities,
seeing your face everywhere
and there's no escape,
(This life
clinging to rocks in wind,
seeing this lost chance,)
except what if we
could go further in?
(we were each others' reward
for enduring the waves.
"The wages of dying
is love."
like the poem says.
As long as the
one last leap
into the dark
is whole hearted.
It almost was.)

credits

from Lost Wisdom pt. 2, released November 8, 2019

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Mount Eerie Anacortes, Washington

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