No Flashlight

by Mount Eerie

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1.
"I Know No One" Knowing no one will understand these songs, I try to sing them clearer and even though no one has ever asked "What does Mount Eerie mean?" I try to repeatedly explain in these complicated songs but tonight we will find out I know no one and no one knows me.
2.
"I Hold Nothing" Your love swells and pounds me and I know nothing (now that I know you). My face goes blank, my eyes go open gates, and the world can go in, the world can stay and make us wealthy and can take away so I hold nothing (now that I hold you). There's no place to use our money where we live. The generous world suggests generous living, so we lay under low wide branches of the oldest tree on the dune, or in the hay, where we will stay for so long, so slow, that the careful birds will relax and make black nests in your black hair and walk around beneath my still feet and we will only notice the play of the world for a moment and then let it roll on the way the world rolls on through open gates. In a generous way, I give long walks to the dogs. In a generous way I put commas in songs. In a generous way I give closed eyes to the day. In a generous way I give peace to the long slow decay so we do not need to fear dying.
3.
the Moan 02:53
"the Moan" In the night after the bats come out, I hear you howling. I know no one and I hold nothing now that I know you. This is how we howl. In the dark night on the unlit trail there's no way through but to crawl. Perplexed by the world around me, there's no way through but to surrender my body completely to you to be eaten, to be gnawed, to fulfill the pregnant night, and then to be born in mornings, to be quiet!
4.
"In the Bat's Mouth" As the black bird above you disappears into the night, the cave beyond the foothills in the night is overflowing in song. the Bat and the song of the Bat the Bat and in the Bat's mouth
5.
"No Inside, No Out" Because the pupil of my eye is a hole there's no inside and there's no out. The world is in me. I am in the world. Because my teeth are the visible bones in my mouth of invisible songs, a cave in the night is overflowing. There's no inside and there's no suffocation. Being "in the world" is having scattered ashes. A cave in the night is overflowing in song.
6.
(2 Lakes) 01:08
"(2 Lakes)" There were 2 lakes. The one where everyone goes was found on maps and covered in boats. It was shallow so, in it, things grow. At one of it's edges some black cliffs rose and down the rock the lake's new water pours from the second lake which is just beyond those cliffs, which is fed by a bottomless spring, and still has never been seen.
7.
Stop Singing 02:59
"Stop Singing" ... the possibility that if I stopped clapping my hands in the void I would notice that I can't hold onto things and the possibility that if I stopped using my voice I would notice songs that, all around me, sing looms in weather lives buried in my days with all my songs and rhythms going like the darkness surrounding a flame. It's what I don't say with my mouth. It's my mouth open to breathe in. It's open windows. Still, I go on and on describing the shape around the thing I want to but cannot name in song and though my long life feels busy and full of usefulness and drive, I will sleep through every single dawn and those I see I really won't comprehend, though I try, and I will sing through every single song about the spaces left when we stop singing and I will sing this with longing.
8.
"No Flashlight" I can only love those dark hills because I live in the day. I can only see the mountain because I live in town. I only love night because I have only smelled it. Actually living in the night means not talking about it. I can only say "no flashlight" because once I accidentally forgot it. Actually living in the night means actually walking in the dark means to find caves in song.
9.
"(2 Mountains)" There are 2 mountains. The one that everyone knows, our eyes pass by it, it is so well known. I know it's shape while I travel. It waits. In photos and songs of picturesque living it waits. But Bright Mountain, all day, trails a growing shadow and the second peak appears only at night. In the dark this mountain towers and roars. Dark Mountain trails nothing and constantly grows. Where there were skies there are ocean shadows and we will be inside.
10.
"the Air in the Morning" the air in the morning (and the way that Halloween is always approaching) will enter the room will find my cheek and will wake me up, roaring. With the rains come Halloween, and with the night comes the air in the morning. My costume will be myself with the night on my face so I stand in the rain in the dark with the world unfolding. The air in the morning comes in song.
11.
"the Universe is Shown" there's no way you'll get out of it and in this way the Universe is shown. "But I wasn't even looking for it." It doesn't matter, the Universe is shown. "But I had some other plans for the night" You are done. The Universe is shown. "But my life is long and good" and from now on you must fulfill the pregnant night. The Universe is shown in song.
12.
What? 02:56
"What I Actually Am" When I was sturdier I'd talk about how certainly we all will die. Eat shadows, bury candles, die. When I was sturdier I thought "So what? I am forever mountainous!" I bravely said "No death of any kind could matter to my mountain mind. Come years, come surging, I am tall!" When I was "sturdier" I was secretly scared, and the fear was blinding. As you can see I am no rock. As you can see in mountain wind what I actually am is thinning clouds.
13.
How? 02:24
"How?" Having washed my face in a frozen stream, and having lived in guest rooms for the last 7 years, and having just doubled in size, admitting animal loving, I still must find a way how. How do I live with the romance of the world? How do I live with the romance? the lure of scenery How do I live with the romance? the comfort and closed eyes How do I live with the romance and admit that this might be the world where I belong? How? I'll sing my song in the parking lot.
14.
"No Flashlight" "No Flashlight" means that there's another world and it's inside this one. The moon is in the lake. "No Flashlight" means at the lake at night, at the cold bottom, there's no pool of light, no moon, no sky, no world. "No Flashlight" means at the bottom of the lake with opened eyes. in the mountains with no flashlight and no friends knowing the world is in song and being able to hush, turning off the light is being welcomed home. crawling in the dark saying "no flashlight" is saying "yes" to everything else.
15.
(2 Moons) 00:56
"(2 Moons)" There are 2 moons. The one that everyone knows is a reflection in a bucket wearing clothes. We see reflections. The second moon is actually the moon.

about

RECORDED “NOWHERE” BETWEEN OCTOBER 19TH, 2004 AND JANUARY 30TH, 2005
MOSTLY IN A SMALL ROOM UPSTAIRS AT 418 COMMERCIAL, ANACORTES
BY PHIL ELVERUM WITH GENEVIÈVE CASTRÉE AND JASON WALL
ORIGINALLY RELEASED AS “ELV005” IN LATE SUMMER 2005
MIXED AGAIN AT THE UNKNOWN ON BRIGHT WINTER AFTERNOONS
THEN MASTERED BY T. STOLLENWERK THEN CUT BY J. GOLDEN
ARTWORK RECONSIDERED AND TRIMMED OF RAMBLING EXPLANATIONS
RE-POLISHED AND RE-RELEASED AS “ELV037” IN LATE SUMMER 2015
P.W. ELVERUM & SUN, BOX 1561, ANACORTES, WASH. U.S.A. 98221

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released September 11, 2015

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Mount Eerie Saanichton, British Columbia

on Lummi, Samish, Klallam, Tulalip and W̱SÁNEĆ land

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